Dropping Further Down

So, I really haven't been in much of a better mood today. I had planned on getting up around 2pm and doing some groceries and things so I'd be good and tired by morning, but I just laid in bed, half asleep most of the time, until after 8pm. Why? I just didn't want to get up. No particular reason, but I just didn't. It's only midnight and I could still just lay back down sadly... There's so much I should be doing...my novel, backing up all my stuff to get my laptop fixed, drawing, letting the rats out for a run and clean their cage...but I just have zero energy for it. I am doing a load of laundry, but have already pre-decided I'm calling in tomorrow. I'm going to try and say "family emergency" to see if they'll code it a little differently or something, but we'll see. I'm going to fast though tomorrow night, that I've decided. I'm also gunna do some later evening groceries I think. Mainly to just kinda get out of the house for a bit, but am going to try and go on the bus and tell K I was given the night off from lack of work or whatever.

Hubby messaged me a long thing on Facebook last night, before I got back up from the migraine. It said a lot about how much he misses me and loves me and stuff, but also made it pretty clear that it's going to take a long while before he can move down. I'm really at a loss of what to do right now. I am thinking just going for a one bdrm apartment as soon as possible is the best for my sanity since I already question why I moved back really, so am praying I get at least $1000 back from my taxes so I can pay up my credit card and cell phone and put the rest away towards it.... If I could get $2000 back it would be perfect... $1500 for first and last and then $500 to throw on bills and for the U-Haul and shit. It'd be no more than what I paid to move here, that's for sure, so $100 would easily be enough for the moving part of it all...Anywhoo, it made me depressed even further. I wrote back and told him, in a nut shell, how I felt. I wrote quite the novel, but have not told him I'm cutting again. He knows I use to, but also knows I stopped when we got together...I don't want to hurt him and make him worry about me any more than he probably does by telling him I've started again or anything else like that.

So, I really need to get on top of counting cals and things again and would like to start this week, but I don't really have the food for it just yet. Hopefully I get enough to get some good stuff this week. I still have like $160 left but need to put something on my cell phone and would like to put something on my credit card. So yea, here's hoping I can a decent return and can do it this week cuz my old bank account is going to go into overdraft from fees this week if I don't cash the check in time.

Anyway, I'm really not in a blogging mood tonight. I will return comments when I start my fast everything. Want to definitely start it earlier this week.